NA BEA ALONZO KA NA BA?

The "Na Bea Alonzo Ka Na Ba" hashtag is currently trending in the Philippines because of Bea Alonzo's rumored breakup with Gerald Anderson. My friend and I are wondering how a person can do such a thing. How can they fall asleep at night knowing a person is in pain with their actions. Then, out of nowhere, I remember someone in my past and how I ghosted him.

I was young then and my priority was not to have a romantic relationship with anyone but somehow I got involved with him. The idea of "us" at that time terrified me because it felt so right and comfortable. We were OK and I really felt he loves me but it was not the right time. I'm not ready for that kind of love. So, I left. No explanation at all. No reason. Nothing. 

Months later, I saw him walking. He saw me for the first time. No words were uttered between us. Just a piercing look from him that went straight to my heart. I felt the pain I caused him. I was cruel to him and I know it. He deserved to know the truth. We need to have a closure but I don't know how or when. That random seeing each other lasted for two years.

Then, the day I had been waiting for came. I'm finally ready to explain why. Without going into details, we were able to talk about what went wrong and how sorry I was for ghosting him. He doesn't deserve that. He forgave me and I was able to forgive myself for hurting him. We both had the closure we've been wanting to have. 

Looking at it now,  I know he loved me and we were both good for each other but it wasn't the right time for me. The relationship was bound to end because of that. Did I regret it? No. I learned a lot of things from it. I was grateful because it lead me to my unexpected love. The one that showed me why it never worked out with anyone else before.